Just a story
I tend to feel guilty and like I have to explain myself for fuckhol too often. Anyways, we all know what Ramadaan entails eating-wise, yes? Push breakfast to before sunrise, skip lunch and push supper and all snacking until sunset and after. NOW. Explaining this to my painter slash very respectable Xhosa handyman Alfred was easy and he took it in with what seemed like admiration when I explained it and that a traveler or a sick person doesn’t have to burden themselves and can just fast those missed days later on. So during the day he’d see me NOT eating, of course. And then I got my period. I thought, aww I can stick it out for today, i can skip eating while he’s here (NOT), I really don’t feel like telling him about the period concession. But FUUUCK. He’s going to know I’m bleeding out of my vagina if I do. And he’ll think I’m a miserably defiant soul if I don’t tell him. Then I was like screw it, I’m not doing anything wrong. I can eat. I don’t have to explain myself. Fuck that. I don’t have to prove jack shit. It’s the con-fucking-session bitch. So i ate merrily and i felt his eyes pointing at me and asking WHY MA’AM (He calls me ma’am) WHY arent you FASTING MA’AM with tears in his darted eyes? Then he damned me to hell and was TOTALLY disapproving without right. All in my imagination of course. So i was like fuck it. I’m telling him. So while i made myself hot chocolate, i was like…I’m not cheating Alfred. (Lol) You see me eating? I’m not fasting today. Women can eat. So i said…during ‘that time of the month’…dooo you know what that time of the month means? He said yes. So I’m like SHOT i don’t have to say the word period. So he was like. Oh so ladies don’t have to fast certain days? So i was like YES! He totally has it. So he was like, oohhhhh okay, so on weekends only ladies don’t have to fast. But only ladies. *facepalm* So I was like, we’re both adults, he has kids, he knows how ovaries work. I mustered…you know when women have their period? Do you know…menstruation?…saying it cringing as if it were a person’s name. He nodded as he swallowed his lunch, lol. Well, yes we don’t have to fast that time. *still cringing* Then I walked off…and could finally enjoy my cold hot chocolate and cereal bar without the self-induced guilt. Honestly. I can’t take myself anywhere.
